And what I noticed in parallel is that… It’s hard to describe, but I felt like I was in a slight decline, but a slight gradual decline. What do I mean by that? A decline is ultimately when you lose some of your abilities. And I felt like I was losing my memory a little, that my memory was gradually declining, getting worse and worse. Before, I had a very good memory. When I was still a project manager in the automotive industry until 2016, I remembered numbers very well, I remembered lots of things, I had a very good memory. Well, I’ve had the impression in recent years that my memory wasn’t very good anymore.
So I'm not saying that it became so bad that I couldn't remember anything, but I felt a decline in my memory. I sometimes felt a decline in my clarity of mind, that is to say my ability or the ability that I had at one time to solve problems really very easily. I also had the impression of losing my repartee a little bit, that is to say the ability to respond directly to someone. And it happened to me after discussions: "Ah I should have said that, I should have said that", whereas that happened to me a little before. It happened to me of course, but less.
It was light, huh? Again, it's not something that really caught my attention, because it was very, very light and very gradual. And as it went on, I thought, "Well, maybe it's because I'm sleeping less or I'm not sleeping enough," and maybe that contributed to it, maybe the lack of sleep that affected me for a few years didn't... at netherlands whatsapp number data least it made things a little more complicated, but I don't think that was the real explanation.
: "Maybe it's age." And that, no, it can't be age. I mean: "I'm only 40 years old and there are people who are 70 years old who have a great memory and who continue to be at the top and who have no decline. So no, it's not age." And I said to myself that in the end it was probably linked...
I'm sorry. I'm rude. I picked a blackberry. I was walking and there was a blackberry. It's the end of the season, huh. And I ate it. That's very rude. I apologize.
But I told myself that it was probably linked to the fact that I had accumulated too many negative emotions in my unconscious, that is to say OK I had fought these trials, I had done what was necessary, I had not fallen into depression, but unconsciously, all that I had accumulated in particular anxiety, tension, clearly, resentment towards certain people, also guilt on my side, all that, well that had probably created tension, anxiety and that it was all these negative emotions anchored in my unconscious that created this slight decline.
Obviously, you can't be sure. Everything is so complicated. It's really hard to be sure and certain about these things, but I really think it played a role and I also know that it's not irreversible. Irreversible would mean you can't go back. It's reversible, it means you can go back. And I know that I have to continue to do work not only to resist stress, not only to resist the trials of life, but really to make sure that I'm not affected by these negative emotions at all, that I don't experience decline, that I protect my mind like a temple. I love this metaphor.